The Power of Moments | Book Review

Purpose trumps passion. (p. 218)

Chip and Dan Heath focus on two goals:

Identify the traits defining moments have in common, and show how you [we] can create defining moments (p. 5), in this terrific work ideally suited for leaders and coaches. The authors characterize a defining moment as a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful (p. 12), created from one or more of four elements (pp. 12-15):

ELEVATION: Defining moments rise above the everyday.
INSIGHT: Defining moments rewire our understanding of ourselves or the world.
PRIDE: Defining moments capture us at our best – moments of achievement, moments of courage.
CONNECTION: Defining moments are social: weddings, graduations, baptisms, vacations, work triumphs, bar and bat mitzvahs, speeches, sporting events. 

Clinics are included for each of the four sections (pp. 37, 89, 134 & 196), and are essentially real-life examples of how we may create defining moments. This review ties each of the four defining moment elements to Academy Leadership workshops, generating multiple methods for creating lasting moments.

ELEVATION | Important not Urgent

In our Setting Leadership Priorities workshops we discuss Tyranny of the Urgent, finding false urgency is frequently based on mistaken appearances. The Heaths identify that research has shown, again and again, we tend to obsess about problems and negative information (p. 60), or Quadrant I important and urgent activities.

Recall Quadrant II, or important not urgent activities tend toward:

• Opportunity
• ProActive
• Planning High Payoff Activities
• Success

The authors envision opportunity as positive variance, or welcoming humanity and spontaneity into the system (p. 77). More simply, surprise is cheap and easy (p. 71). However, we’re unlikely to notice any of this when in a primarily reactive environment.

We may become more proactive by doing three things: First, boost sensory appeal. Second raise the stakes. Third, break the script (p. 61). This may be challenging for the subject matter expert (SME), used to explaining details, not realizing they didn’t need their colleagues to understand something, they needed them to feel something (p. 80).

The authors also share “School needs to be so much more like sports (p. 51),” leading to academic breakthrough stories. Consider our workplace. In sports, coaching and deliberate practice are easily accepted and understood as keys to success, however many organizations relegate genuine coaching to thinly veiled evaluation usually leading to expulsion.

INSIGHT | Cross the Knowing-Doing Gap

During Feedback workshops, the Johari Window reveals that when we simultaneously solicit and give more feedback, insights may occur. The Heaths are fans of insight that comes from experience (p. 116), similar to the First Principle “If You Know by Doing, There is No Gap between What You Know and What You Do,” described in The Knowing-Doing Gap.

Additionally, the authors discover very few of the [significant learning experiences] answers are content focused (p. 109), instead they tend toward experiential. Lea Chadwell’s bakery story teaches us:

“To stretch is to place ourselves in situations that
expose us to the risk of failure.” (p. 117)

And the promise of stretching is not success. It’s learning (p. 131).

PRIDE | Feedback | Appreciation

Appreciation, evaluation and coaching are the three forms of feedback cited in Academy Leadership Feedback workshops. The authors repeatedly cite evidence in support of appreciation:

•… it’s usually having our skill noticed by others that sparks the moment of pride (p. 139).
• Of all the ways we can create moments of pride for others, the simplest is to offer them recognition (p. 145).
• Over 46 years, only one factor was cited every time as among the top two motivators: “full appreciation of work done.” (p. 145)
• The top reason people leave their jobs is a lack of praise and recognition (p. 146) 

The Heaths take us further, beyond just appreciation, embracing gratitude. Expressing gratitude pleases the recipient of the praise, of course, but it can also have a boomerang effect, elevating the spirits of the grateful person (p. 155). We seemingly place far too much emphasis on evaluation, crowding out positive, performance-based coaching and appreciation in the process. This instinct to notice and commemorate achievements is oddly lacking in many areas of life (p. 166).

Consider appreciation and gratitude as elements of your leadership philosophy. Or, by multiplying milestones, we transform a long, amorphous race into one with many intermediate “finish lines.” (p. 175)

CONNECTION | Shared Purpose

Core Values Alignment workshops emphasize values alignment before launching typical annual strategic planning or similar events. Likewise, a Crucial Conversation cannot begin without mutual purpose.

Consider the authors’ findings that our relationships are stronger when we perceive that our partners are responsive to us (pp. 231-232), encompassing three things:

Understanding: My partner knows how I see myself and what is important to me
Validation: My partner respects who I am and what I want
Caring: My partner takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs

We typically applaud following one’s passion. However, when people had high passion and high purpose, they were stars (p. 217).  How well does your leadership philosophy unify toward common purpose? When you understand the ultimate contribution you’re making, it allows you to transcend the task list (p. 221). Sounds like a great recipe for breakthrough performance and goodness.

Summary

Interestingly, the Heaths were struck that 6 out of the 10 most important events all happen during a relatively narrow window of time: roughly age 15 to 30 (p. 84). We now have a user manual for additional defining moment creation – a lifetime extension. On pages 267-268 the authors share access to additional free resources.