“If you find yourself talking more than 25% of the time,
there's a good chance you will never hear the necessary information.
Listen 75% of the time." (p. 45)

Subtitled The Transformative Power of Questions & compiled by Bob Tiede, this quick read offers a practical list of questions useful for the leader as coach.

In Thanks for the Feedback, Sheila Heen and Doug Stone articulate three forms of Feedback: Appreciation, Evaluation & Coaching. During Academy Leadership Excellence Courses (LECs), we reinforce the importance of properly separating and understanding the differences between evaluation and coaching (see The Coaching Gap). Tiede views coaching similarly and collects 38 stories highlighting powerful questions from a wide range of successful professionals.

This review maps most of Tiede's questions to the seven Effective Feedback Examples highlighted and discussed in our Coaching to Develop People workshops. We may think of these practical questions as triggers launching more extended discussions which in turn, create effective feedback.

Effective Feedback Examples

Solicited vs. Unsolicited

Perhaps the most effective yet underutilized feedback technique. Launch a discussion creating a genuine request for support. Is there anything I should be asking? (p. 19). What do you need from me to help you learn, grow, and provide value? (p. 40). Who can help you achieve it? (p. 117). How can I help? (p. 151). Once we're asked to help, listen and follow up with additional supportive questions.

Specific vs. General

Think of an LEC Action Plan, consisting, in part, of three specific improvement behavior commitments. What have you accomplished so far that you are most pleased with? (p. 23). What is an opportunity, big or small, ahead of me [you]? (p. 102). What's the biggest lesson you've learned? (p. 145). What energizes and drains you when you're at work? (p. 165). Recall deliberate practice (see Peak) includes a clearly defined stretch goal.

Descriptive vs. Evaluative

Rather than indulge an impulse to fix, or correct, simply share an objective observation, then ask a question. What would be the ideal solution long term? (p. 28). If we could only do 3 measurable things in the next 90 days which would make a 50% difference, what would we do? (p. 82). What are three things that make you happy? (p. 110). What is it you dream of and love to do the most? (p. 126). Let others self-evaluate, which often allows us to learn of additional work completed or accomplishments we were not aware of.

Timely vs. Delayed

Don't wait for feedback or an opportunity to support. Wow, that is a quick turnaround. What would you need to get ready? (p. 32). In the last seven days, have you received recognition or praise for good work? (p. 132). What are alternative uses for the time and resources? (p. 190). These situations are often an ideal opportunity for on the spot corrective coaching.

Dosed vs. Bombarded

This is a great approach for identifying improvement priorities. What's the best and worst piece of advice you've ever received? (p. 73) What first got you interested in...? (p. 195). Once we've identified the top priorities and sequenced follow on actions accordingly, we're effectively leading.

Verifiable vs. Open to Interpretation

Elicit measurable responses. What steps have you taken to become a better leader? What has been its impact? (P. 52) What can we do to support your career goals? (p. 141) Use of SMART (specific, measurable, agreed-upon, realistic & trackable) goals is an excellent approach.

Owned vs. Attributed

Don't encourage gossip. Ask others for their point of view, and to own their feedback. Can you see any other possibilities coming out of this for you? (p. 57) What do you think? (p. 100) In your own words, what is the mission or purpose of your organization/department/team? (p. 120) What can you do to improve yourself as a leader? (p. 159) Who are your role models, and why did you choose them? (p. 175) We can then reciprocate, letting individuals know what we really think. Make it safe.

Summary

Be the curious leader as coach. Ask, then listen.

People in general don't want advice even when they ask for it.
They just want to feel heard. (p. 69)

Bob Tiede generously provided a copy of the book for review.

JE | November 2025