In Episode 24, we meet a most interesting couple, Andrea Kramer and Alton Harris. Andie is a partner in the international law firm of McDermott Will & Emery LLP, which was just listed as one of the “10 Best BigLaw Firms for Female Attorneys.” Despite her successful and demanding legal career, Andie has helped thousands of women navigate both the obvious and subtle gender biases they encounter in all career settings. In 2015, she received the Inspiration Award from the Coalition of Women in Law Initiatives for her continued support of women’s initiatives, mentoring, and coaching. Al was a founding partner of the Chicago law firm of Ungaretti & Harris where Andie started her legal career and which in 2015 merged into the national law firm of Nixon Peabody LLP. Over the course of his career, Al has grown increasingly concerned about the barriers and biases women face in traditionally male career environments. Because of this concern, Al has mentored and advised women in many career fields. They have been mentoring women and speaking and writing about gender communication for more than 30 years.
Our Academy Leadership group, a terrific team of former military officers who are also senior civilian executives, often share our stories. With his permission, I would like to read to you an email from Kevin Derbin, 1979 Naval Academy Graduate. It’s a powerful coaching story from Kevin and his wife Pam. Their words. Their story:
I wanted to share a very personal story about the power of our Personal Leadership Philosophy. I hope you get a quick chance to read this and appreciate your busy schedules.
In January, Pam’s division of Humana was eliminated unexpectedly. As always, things happen for reasons whether we plan for it or not. As she began her search, it created a time of reflection and redefining purpose (as it has for many of us who are veterans of corporate America) while navigating the unknown. She worked with Humana for over 10 years as a Case and Team Manager in their Home Health business.
We recently started her quilting business (which she is very gifted at and award winning) but just being christened, it’s not quite ready for sea yet so she began to fish the leadership opportunities in Nursing in the Louisville area. Her sights set on a similar position, she started casting. She received several calls of interest (and not) but recently spoke with a national home care company with 2 opportunities as a Case Manager and a Director of Operations. The recruiter told her that she was overqualified for the Manager role but referred her to the Executive recruiter as she felt Pam had the experience for that role. Pam was shocked, a bit nervous and doubted whether she was able to fill the expectations of that leadership role.
Her first interview went well and made her realize that she did have the experience and ability to “move up”. We spent the next week working on her Personal Leadership Philosophy which she felt would be important for her not just during the interview process but to solidify her own confidence and be prepared to be effective in the role should she get it.
During the next set of executive interviews, she proactively asked if she could share her Leadership Philosophy in response to a leading interview question which took the team by surprise as they had never heard of it. They loved it and were impressed that she even had one. The proportion of the discussion quickly shifted to leadership, values and examples of living those values.
Pam received an invite to a final round of interviews, in person, with the team that she would be leading and her prospective supervisor (whom she had already met). During this session, Pam again shared her philosophy informally with the team. Not only were they appreciative but were taken back by its candor and heartfelt message.
She was offered the position with Amedisys (not surprising to me), a promotion from her previous role, and has reenergized her sense of self, her capability and how important her Nursing profession is to her. She is excited for the position to start in May and looking forward to leading a team again. Two points.
Had it not been for life throwing a curveball, she would not have proactively searched for a position of greater responsibility outside Humana.
Pam attributes sharing her Leadership Philosophy as key lever in not only putting her own thoughts and values into perspective but the power of having one and sharing it during the interview process was invaluable not only for its authenticity but that she had placed so much emphasis on leadership and its importance in the role already.
In retrospect, having a Personal Leadership Philosophy doesn’t necessarily guarantee admission but it’s clear that few have heard of one, have one or even think about articulating one. In the case of interviewing (that we get asked frequently about), it creates a conversation that turns focus toward an open discussion that most likely would not have occurred. More importantly, a conversation that the one being interviewed controls and becomes the driver. Better yet the leader.
Side note – the quilting continues…and perhaps an opportunity at Amedisys for an E2L/PLP workshop and...!
Kevin didn’t need to share this with our Academy Leadership team. It could demonstrate vulnerability, or perceived weakness. On the other hand, what types of people do we wish to follow? What is your leadership philosophy? Leaders Share Their Stories
In Episode 23, we meet Dan Pontefract, Dan is the founder and CEO of The Pontefract Group, a firm that improves the state of leadership and organizational culture. Dan has presented at four different TED events and also writes for Forbes, Harvard Business Review and The Huffington Post. Dan is an adjunct professor at the University of Victoria, Gustavson School of Business and has garnered more than 20 industry awards over his career.
Dan previously served as Chief Envisioner and Chief Learning Officer at TELUS—a Canadian telecommunications company with revenues of $14 billion and 50,000 global employees—where he launched the Transformation Office, the TELUS MBA, and the TELUS Leadership Philosophy, all award-winning initiatives that dramatically helped to increase the company’s employee engagement to record levels of nearly 90%.
My friend and colleague Susan Packard recently sent me a copy of her new book Fully Human. My hope is that it reaches a larger audience than her first work New Rules of the Game, which was written primarily, although not exclusively for women. Her book is subtitled, 3 Steps to Grow Your Emotional Fitness in Work, Leadership, and Life. This reminded me of a sentence in my Personal Leadership Philosophy: At the end of each day, key questions include “Did I do my best? -- At work, at home, and at life.”
Where did this focus on Emotional Intelligence come from? It’s likely this started with Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking work Emotional Intelligence. We can think of Susan Packard’s work, as well as Dan Pink’s breakthrough book Drive and Mark Crowley’s wonderful Lead From the Heart, as how-to guides. Goleman’s research introduced us to Emotional Intelligence, and there are many worthy books that inform us how to put Emotional Intelligence, or E.Q, into action, and showcase the benefits of doing so. This also helps us cross barriers between generations, as Kelly and Bobby Riggs shared with us in Counter Mentor Leadership.
Do you still think primarily about performance and potential solely based on I.Q? If you do, you’re not alone. Consider a deeper dive into E.Q. Add some new leadership tools to your toolbox. Leaders Promote Emotional Intelligence.
In Episode 22, we visit Cornell University, and Professor Barry Strauss’ history and classics course “War and Peace in Greece and Rome.” Professor Strauss led a conversation between the two of us about Leonidas and Leadership, engaging the students as well. You can hear Barry & I pretty well, but it might be a bit of a challenge hearing the students. Enjoy the discussion and let us know what you think.
How many of you request feedback in order to learn and improve, or benefit from a 360 evaluation? This past week, at Cornell University, we went back a bit further and explored Leonidas I, the legendary warrior-king of the Greek city-state of Sparta. Most of us know of Leonidas I by way of Steven Pressfield’s wonderful book Gates of Fire. Or, we may have seen the movie 300. Both showcase the famous Battle of Thermopylae which pitted 300 Spartans against Persian King Xerxes’ army of hundreds of thousands.
What did we learn from the past? What leadership lessons did we discuss? Actually, quite a few. Barry Strauss, Professor of History and Classics, Bryce and Edith M. Bowmar Professor in Humanistic Studies, presented questions for me, that we could share with his students for group discussion.
Why is Leonidas an admired figure in modern culture? And why are we fascinated with Sparta, yet no so much democratic Athens? It seems today, as much as in 480 B.C. we are drawn to leaders who have a strong sense of purpose, who serve a cause greater than themselves. Think about our cherished stories of the proverbial entrepreneurs launching a new venture in a garage with nothing then creating something amazing that changes our lives.
We spoke about the differences between leadership and authority, and what makes a good leader. Repeatedly, the concept of leading by example, or leading from the front surfaced. All of these reasons attract us to Leonidas, as well as contemporary leaders and heroes.
• Iconoclasts, or artistic types such as Miles Davis, who want to be the best in their field
• Glorious Bastards, who just care about winning, such as Larry Ellison of Oracle, or
• Nurturers, who guide and teach their protégées, such as Bill Walsh, legendary coach of the San Francisco 49ers.
Many of us found Leonidas a combination of a nurturer, who cared for his solders, who easily was a glorious bastard in battle.
In short, there was a lot to learn thinking about and discussing Leonidas. Both about leadership and about history. We even discussed whether or not Leonidas had a Personal Leadership Philosophy. Look for a future choinquecast of the entire session.
What lessons do you learn? Do you request feedback? How does that affect your leadership philosophy? Leaders Learn From the Past.
In Episode 21, we meet Lisette Sutherland, who describes herself as a remote-working German-born American living in the Netherlands who is today jazzed by the fact that it is possible to work from anywhere. Not just possible, but completely, productively workable — if you do it right. Lisette is a public speaker, workshop leader, and the director of Collaboration Superpowers, a company that helps people work together from anywhere through online and in-person workshops.
The past couple weeks have included multiple Academy Leadership Energize2Lead, or E2L, Workshops. Intentionally, this workshop is offered first during multi-day Leadership Development Programs so that attendees can understand themselves and others at a much deeper level. One of the attendees on day one of an Advanced Leadership Course declared to the participant group “I was not a fan of the E2L Profile,” and further mentioned he had contacted his supervisor before the course informing her “I don’t want to complete it.” Somehow his supervisor persuaded him to complete the profile. Interestingly, this skeptical professional later admitted in front of everyone near the end of the first day of the program “The E2L Workshop spoke to me.” How about that!
So, what’s going on here? Good question. A thought that comes to mind is emotional intelligence. It’s an everyday phrase today, but wasn’t in 1995 when Daniel Goleman published the classic work with the same name. Emotional Intelligence, the book, is not just a groundbreaking work, it redefines how we understand intelligence, and perhaps more importantly, for a leader, how we connect with each other. Similar to Christine Comaford’s Smart Tribes, Goleman examines fundamental human behavior, at the physiological, and often instinctive, level.
Just like our E2L profiles. Understanding our instinctive needs, and the instinctive needs of others, is vital for any effective leader. Goleman revealed this to us. Our E2L profile and E2L Workshops explore this. Perhaps this is why the skeptical client changed his mind. He connected instinctively.
How well do you know yourself and your team? Are your connections more than superficial? Leaders Connect Instinctively.
In Episode 20, we meet Kristen Lowers and learn how the development of a Personal Leadership Philosophy has shaped her leadership journey, both at work, and in life. Kristen first attended an Academy Leadership Excellence Course in December 2013 and an Advanced Leadership Course in September 2014. She has sponsored numerous in-house leadership events for her teams and is certified to facilitate Academy Leadership Energize2Lead, or E2L Workshops. I’ve had the privilege to serve as Kristen’s coach and colleague since 2014.
An interesting series of leadership discussions started this month with a dynamic and intellectually curious colleague in Australia. Turns out we connected in May 2017 when I was speaking down under about Strategies for the Agile Leader, basing my talk on General Stanley McChrystal’s book Team of Teams. My colleague has a new role now, Director of Enterprise Agility at a well known global firm that works to help clients become leaders wherever they choose to compete. We connect on the weekend on WhatsApp.
In short, we started discussing what it takes to become a 21st century leader, and are considering a series of ChoinqueCast dialogues. Like many, my colleague has been put into a “leadership position” twice in his career. My impression is that he didn’t really buy into the idea of leadership having anything to do with a position. His thoughts turned to Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times, especially the part where Chaplin physically gets stuck in an assembly line machine — highlighting how organizations have treated people mechanically rather than humanely not so long ago. Much of his exposure to leadership so far has focused on processes, not so much people. Maybe times haven’t really changed that much.
Like Jim Collins, my colleague is very curious and wants to study business transformation in the United States, observing organizations and how they work. He wants this course of study to form his Ph.D. thesis. Following and possible contributing to this journey may be the basis for our dialogues. We shared a couple significant topics such as vulnerability, the hazards of a scarcity rather than abundance mindset, and use of a Personal Leadership Philosophy. Great 21st century leader traits.
Curiosity is both the hallmark of a coach, as well as a leader. Stay tuned for a series of dialogues on the ChoinqueCast. Leaders Connect Worldwide.
This past week we held our annual Academy Leadership Conference in south Florida. A lot happens over three full days, and we usually leave very energized. One of the reasons for this is that we share knowledge with each other.
“But the view of knowledge taken by many consultants, organizations,
and management writers is of something to be acquired, measured,
and distributed — something reasonably tangible, such as patents.”
Administrative knowledge seems an accurate term for this, and we may often presume, that once possessed, this know-how will be used effectively, which in practice often does not happen. Think of most common initiatives undertaken focusing on cloud computing and data warehousing and support software installation, and the rise of corresponding organizational structures. The usual result: Adding technology without changing behaviors which only extends the Knowing-Doing Gap.
Pfeffer and Sutton emphasize the use of the word knowledge as a process rather than a thing as a helpful habit well worth developing. Or put another way, most companies:
“Overestimate the importance of the tangible, specific, programmatic aspects
of what competitors, for instance, do, and underestimate the importance
of the underlying philosophy that guides what they do and why they do it.”
What they do and why they do it. So, what energized our Academy Leadership team this past week? We shared stories about things that we did, ways we engaged with our clients, and most significantly, we captured the stories from our Leadership Excellence Partner award winners. These were the amazing testimonials, shared from the heart, by leaders who are transforming their organizations while working with an Academy Leadership facilitator, or partner.
There’s an analog here worth reflecting on. We can likewise envision leadership, both term and practice of, as a verb, or as an action or process, rather than a noun or title. At the end of the week, the first cohort of our new Academy Leadership Advanced Leadership Course regrouped for our fourth day. We were processing day three at a coffee shop, and as with the conference just finished, the team was sharing stories, asking themselves how to focus on what really mattered in order to realize their developing future vision. It was a great opportunity to share knowledge from the conference completed two days before.
During the conference, we held a panel sharing best practices when facilitating development of a Personal Leadership Philosophy. One of the elements of a leadership philosophy, and often overlooked is our leadership priorities. In short, what’s important, and in what order. A member from the panel shared how they ask a group, especially one typically juggling everyday distractions and interruptions (think about a culture of doing more with less): “What are the two or three balls in the air which cannot be dropped?” Fantastic answer and a fantastic story. The cohort immediately connected with the analogy, and we went further. The group then challenged each other whether or not these two or three priorities were mentioned in their respective leadership philosophies, and then whether or not the priorities were aligned.
That’s communication. That’s breakthrough. That’s leadership. Leaders cross the Knowing-Doing Gap.
Just received an email from a client this past week: We’ve stayed connected since she first attended an open enrollment leadership course about three and a half years ago. She is an accomplished and talented HR director. She will be leaving her organization very soon. The message wasn’t a surprise and in fact, she should be very proud of her decision.
We had a long phone call a couple months ago. She spoke about the senior leadership team, and how one of them, in a chief marketing role, was seeking a “coaching activity” of some sort. She went further and described the organizational landscape, most notably that the senior leaders often “said the right things,” and even discussed during an executive off-site the need for leadership development training. Sounds like a classical case, where the CEO and CTO are founders of the company, and not surprisingly, struggle with growth and have a hard time letting go of anything.
A couple threads come to mind.
Tony Hseih of Zappos speaks about living core values, and one of the ways he expresses how this is done is whether we hire or fire based on alignment with our company core values regardless of the ability of the person in question.
We can also go deeper, to Clayton Christensen’s How Will You Measure Your Life? Christensen shares a story about building a playhouse for his kids and he realizes that the journey, or the act of building the playhouse was his motivator, rather than the destination, or actual completion of the playhouse. For him, this was a revelation. Let’s pause and think about this for a minute.
There’s a very good chance that my client just had a similar revelation - just like Christensen. In discussions with my client over the years, it’s apparent that she wishes to be part of an organization that lives its values, rather than part of a cult, even a successful one. My guess is that her organization is a completely satisfactory, perhaps even fun place to work. But there are fissures, or stress fractures she and others are beginning to detect. And they are in conflict with both her values and how she wants to measure her life.
She is courageous, and this ChoinqueCast is my way of telling her so. Indeed she is living her values.
Have you ever been in an organization like this? Or made a decision like my client did this month? Please reach out if you have or if you are thinking about it. Core values drive leaders.
Twenty-four books were reviewed this year:
Work Without Walls
Working With Difficult People
Counter Mentor Leadership
The Genius of Opposites
Pacing for Growth
Out of Our Minds
Thinking in Bets
The Introverted Leader
the culture engine
Let There Be Water
Build An A Team
Creating Things That Matter
Why Great Leaders Don’t Take Yes For An Answer
open to think
Work together Anywhere
bringing the total number of reviewed books on the Choinque Bookshelf too well over one hundred. Most of the books were generously donated by the author or their publisher and in several cases terrific books arrived unsolicited. It’s always fun returning from a business trip and finding new books ready for reading, and a new author to meet and interview for a ChoinqueCast.
Recurring themes during leadership excellence courses throughout the year included how to free up time to become a better leader, which really starts by getting to know people better. Grouping Leadership Course attendees into Baby Boomer, Generation X and Generation Y teams proved both valuable and entertaining as we discussed common perceptions and misperceptions between the three, only to realize all three generations want very similar things from their leaders. A continued emphasis on the importance of coaching, especially distinguishing coaching from evaluation, was evident in leadership course feedback and attendee action plans.
Thank you to new partner Golden Media and Entertainment, a highly energized and youthful group working to bring leadership programs to Nigeria. Also, a hat tip to Bill Murphy of Piton Science and Technology, who kindly invited Choinque to join his Human Capital and Training Solutions, or HCaTS team earlier this year.
Looking ahead to 2019, we hope to bring leadership programs to Mauritius in addition to Nigeria, launch our first programs in Puerto Rico, and may return in the fall to Canberra, Australia. Stateside, Choinque looks forward to working closely with TK Lamb of JDI LLC allowing JDI to offer leadership initiatives to the US Government. A talk to students at Cornell is tentatively scheduled in February and a possible Keynote in the UK may occur later in the fall.
The ChoinqueCasts are a labor of love, curiosity, and passion to share knowledge. Let me know if you would like to connect with anyone in the Choinque network. Also, please provide feedback, especially positive reviews on iTunes so others may share our journey of goodness. Happy New Year!
During a recent executive coaching session, our primary focus was reviewing organizational changes made over the past 90 days. You see, the client is restructuring several groups, with the specific objective to improve operational results, eliminate redundant work, and vastly increase team accountability. The beginning of the presentation would please any executive interested in measuring operational results. One slide contained a line graph illustrating a dramatic decrease in team support response time. As substantial as that result was, it wasn’t the one that really drew attention. From our coaching sessions, it was evident one of the more important decisions was a hiring selection, bringing on board a program manager who could become effective as soon as possible. One of the charts showcased the new hire, and more importantly, all the work delegated and accomplished in a very short period of time. Looks like a very solid decision-making process was behind the hire.
The episode made me think of a story our Board Chairman shared years ago when in my start up CEO role. Durrell’s story was about an important engineering job he was responsible for when working at Motorola. The job was to design the first integrated circuits for Motorola’s first four-function calculator. Yeah, that was a while ago. Durrell could have done the work himself, or he could have delegated the work to highly experienced design engineers.
Guess what Durrell Hillis did? He assigned the job to a couple “fresh-outs,” or recent college graduates. Durrell cared as much about the development of the new engineers as he did about getting the job done. That what an engineering leader does. It’s also what my client is doing while restructuring her organization. For her, it’s not just about improved processes. It’s about changing the way work gets done by making good hiring decisions and letting people know they are accountable for results. As I listened during the coaching session, communicating this hiring and delegation story to the executive team at the 90 day checkpoint was the most important item. Especially giving credit to the new program manager.
How do you facilitate organizational change? How much does development fit into your hiring decisions? Leaders delegate and instill accountability.
Day three of the new 2019 Academy Leadership Advanced Leadership Course took place this past week. Our Advanced Communications and Effective Decision-Making workshops were fantastic, each covering well over two hours. The contest winners in the Effective Decision-Making workshop received copies of Counter Mentor Leadership, The New IT and Lead From the Heart which was a lot of fun. Having two long workshops doesn’t afford much time for the third workshop, Leading Change. With most audiences, that’s not a big deal, and we usually zip through the Leading Change workshop rather quickly, often losing a bit of energy after the two robust workshops.
Not this time. We shared stories right away, confirming that constant change is the single most dominant characteristic of the world we live in — and for leaders, the choice is to lead change or be overtaken by it. Sometimes easier said than done though. Turns out the client is in the middle of multiple leading change initiatives, and that the associated challenges consume enormous amounts of energy by the entire team. We discussed Kotter’s Eight Step Change Process:
1. Establishing a sense of urgency
2. Forming a powerful guiding coalition
3. Creating a vision
4. Communicating the vision
5. Empowering others to act on the vision
6. Planning for and creating short-term wins
7. Consolidating improvements and producing still more change
8. Institutionalizing new approaches
learning that the client is still in the early stages. We also noticed that some of the intermediate steps such as communicating the vision and planning for and creating short-term wins can support earlier stages such as creating a sense of urgency. Change is tough. We were not surprised that 60-70% of transformation efforts do not achieve their goals. I asked the group if their Personal Leadership Philosophy includes provisions describing the need for change. Got a bit quiet then…
During our end of day self-evaluation, we found that we had not processed the Leading Change workshop as much as we had wished to. That was a first, and it was actually energizing to hear! The first action item was to email a link to Kotter’s Harvard Business Review article, titled Leading Change: Why Transformation Efforts Fail. We also agreed to spend more time on this in session four next month.
How do you address change? Are parts of your organization resistant? Leaders Create Change.
Day two of the new 2019 Academy Leadership Advanced Leadership Course took place this past week. The client and I decided to switch days two and three allowing our group of eight to launch the Core Values Alignment Workshop as soon as possible. At the beginning of the workshop we watched a short video clip by Jim Collins describing Core Values & Company Culture featuring Jim Collins, Tony Hseih, and Steve Jobs. The description by Tony Hseih of Zappos really touched our group, particularly the part where he defined “committable core values” as values you are willing to hire and fire in support of and completely independent of actual job performance.
Let’s pause and think about that. Chances are we’ve witnessed firing based on something bad such as lying or stealing, or based on company policy. Consider why most people are promoted. Usually it is almost exclusively based on job performance, rather than company values, or the opposite of what Tony Hseih describes. Toward the end of the video Collins states that the “right people” don’t have to be tightly managed, and that if they do, we’ve likely made a hiring mistake. Rather, we should hire based on the values of our organization and then adopt a leadership, or development based mindset which will allow our aligned teams to thrive.
Our group was challenged to actually list the values of their organization. It wasn’t meant to be an exercise where everyone peeked at an organizational website broadcasting a list of 5-8 core values. We split into two groups and each group attempted to describe what the organizational core values were. Interestingly both teams identified a list of perceived core values, and commented that the majority of these values were not known to everyone in the organization and certainly not modeled by everyone. That’s a bold and brave step, the beginning of defining core values. It’s going to take some time for this leadership cohort to understand and agree upon what the core values are, and more importantly, to align and commit to them. But we’re moving in the right direction.
What are your organization’s core values? Do you have to look them up? Do you and your team agree what they are and make daily decisions based on them? Does your Personal Leadership Philosophy connect to any of them? Leaders Align Core Values.
Last year at a conference in Australia I was asked to participate in a debate. The topic to argue for or against was: “Co-located teams are always more productive than remote teams,” or something like that. Our team of three argued against the point and won the debate. However, the topic keeps coming up in leadership courses and coaching sessions. This brings to mind the definitive work on workplace flexibility - Lisette Sutherland’s Work Together Anywhere, and this is the first of undoubtedly many choinquecasts based on her pioneering work. Let’s begin with a bit of terminology. Sutherland describes:
• a telecommuter as someone who works remotely (usually from home), either full or part time, on a fixed team for one company.
• a self-employed freelancer who runs mainly service-based businesses and usually works with more than one remote client, whether simultaneously or consecutively.
• some self-employed freelancers who are also small business owners, whether solopreneurs or entrepreneurs (with a few remote employees or contractors).
Any of these types may be digital nomads, that is, they use portable technology to maintain a nomadic lifestyle. Now let’s consider a demographic trend. According to the 2017 State of Telecommuting in the U.S. Employee Workforce report, half of all telecommuters are forty-five or older. Let’s also recall Dan Pink’s findings that autonomy, mastery and purpose are primary motivators in a knowledge-based economy.
Sutherland’s findings suggest that companies that don’t offer the remote option endanger their long-term viability, or more simply their ability to stay competitive, to retain and attract talent, to grow and shrink the organization as needed, and to reduce costs and increase profits. Consider the options the most talented have today.
What is your mindset? Or that of your organization? Do you have a managerial, or hours-oriented work mindset; or do you have a results-oriented work mindset? Leaders Seek the Best Talent.
During a recent in-house Academy Leadership Excellence course, the topic of feedback came up. One of the attendees mentioned Kim Scott’s recent book Radical Candor. More specifically, the client wanted to bring up the behavior Ruinous Empathy. Several in the course mentioned that not enough helpful feedback occurred within their organization, in particular coaching. One specific attendee, during a self-evaluation exercise, described an otherwise positive and knowledgeable boss, who in six years, had never actually provided any performance coaching.
So, what is Ruinous Empathy? Let’s start with Radical Candor. Radical Candor occurs when we care personally and challenge directly. When we care personally but don’t challenge directly according to Scott our lack of feedback constitutes ruinous empathy. Here’s Scott’s two other terms: When we challenge directly and don’t care personally we’re offering Obnoxious Aggression and when we neither care personally nor challenge directly our lack of feedback is Manipulative Insincerity. We can think of ruinous empathy as the combined outcome of conflict avoidance and the knowing-doing gap. We care deeply, know we should say something, yet avoid doing it. We do this at work and we do this at home.
When reviewing attendee Action Plans after our in-house course, it was apparent the importance of feedback influenced the group. One attendee listed as their first lesson learned: “I learned about ‘ruinous empathy’ which helped frame, or title, a behavior I aim to avoid. I will strive for ‘radical candor.’”
What feedback have you been conflicted about sharing? Are you helping or ruining people you care personally about? Leaders Give Candid Feedback.
In a recent coaching session, the client shared a revelation which occurred after attending an Academy Leadership Excellence course. She realized her everyday work rhythm was an exhausting attempt to get as much done as possible, often performing multiple tasks at the same time. That’s right - multi-tasking. We all do it. And it’s a really bad habit we should avoid as leaders. A quick exercise will prove why.
Try this, either now, or sometime in the future. You’ll need something to record time, like a stopwatch timer on your smartphone. Start with two blank pieces of paper. On each page draw two vertical lines creating three empty columns. Here’s what to do. In the first column, you’ll list the letters a-j, the first ten letters of the alphabet. In the second column, you’ll list the numbers 1-10. In the the third column, you’ll list roman numerals i-x, the first ten roman numerals.
Here’s the catch: The first time you perform this timed exercise, you’ll fill the page moving across the page, starting with a, then 1, then i, switching columns each time. Go ahead and do that and have your timer record how many seconds it takes. You’ll notice a lot of starting and stopping. The second time fill out an entire column one at a time, starting with a-j, then 1-10, and lastly i-x. A lot less switching. Notice the difference in your times. Chances are it took you 40-50% longer the first time.
Why is that?
Context switching is why. When we switch between tasks, we’re spending time, and precious energy, simply moving between the different activities. And with each additional task added, the working time available for each task decreases. Typically the context switching loss between three exercises, as in the exercise we just tried, is about 40%. It gets worse. By the time we are performing five simultaneous tasks, context switching loss is nearly 80%. Might as well not even work anymore at that point.
It pays to identify your genuine High Payoff Activities, and then work on them one at a time. What are your High Payoff Activities? Do you prioritize them and focus on them every day? How do you avoid distractions? Leaders Avoid Multitasking.
In a recent coaching call, the client, who is in a senior leadership role in her company, shared her desire to elevate herself, and to learn to breathe. One of the improvements listed in her action plan is learning to say no more and to avoid low payoff activities and interruptions which take away from time she is trying to block off. How many of you also struggle like this? In our Academy Leadership Excellence Course, we learn that people who are in crisis mode:
And if they have time, they
Plan and Set Goals
Dan Pontefract, author of the fantastic book open to think, offers Open Thinking, as an antidote. Dan describes how today’s habits inhibit both the clarity and quality of their thinking, and the major block to open thinking is influenced by reflection and action. Imagine action on the x-axis of a graph, and reflection on the y-axis of the graph. If we reflect, but do not take action, we’re indecisive. If we take action without reflection, we’re inflexible, and if we are not reflective and do not take action, we’re indifferent. Open thinking occurs when we are both reflective and take action.
I’m going to recommend open to think to my client, because our coaching sessions suggest what she really wants is more open thinking. Her action plan and our first coaching session described it, and open thinking captures what she want to do more of.
How often do you reflect, or write in your journal about your growth as a leader? Do you take action without reflection? Leaders are open thinkers.